Duke Whitey Report

Democrats Say What, Again, Octu-Ratings-Distractions, and Damn the Bong Boys

2009-02-13T14:05:00.000-08:00

The stimulus will pass the house with *gasp* no Republican votes. In addition, Judd Gregg the Republican Senator whom Obama appointed to Commerce Secretary(after Richardosn was forced to drop out due to legal troubles) has decided to withdraw from considederation for that position, due to “ideological and philosophical differences with Obama".

I actually think that this whole Bi-partisan, dog and pony show wasn’t necessarily a bad idea. It helped further the perception that Obama is trying to move past the meaningless political posturing and bickering that is the “culture” of D.C.

The truth is however, that most of these Republicans are not principled or decent conservatives, let alone decent human monkeys. No these mutant fuckers only care about them and theirs and revel in causing as much a fuss as possible.

Year after year, the Republicans have used the simplest school yard trick imaginable, the “faggot says what defense”.

Democrats can make the most logical, truthful and passionate argument they want(though they rarely do) on healthcare, the economy or whatever. It doesn’t matter.

Like Clockwork the Republicans respond with a slightly more sophisticated way of saying, “faggot says what”.

They marginalize, mock and make the Democrats look like ineffectual, pompous sissies. And like clockwork, the Democrats say, “what”, and look like ineffectual, pompous sissies.

I pray now, that since the “honeymoon is over”, that when Republicans use this tried and true “Faggot says what” attack, Democrats actually begin to grow a pair and show the Republicans the foot that will promptly be up their ass. Oh and then ACTUALLY break off a foot in that ass.

We’ll see.

In other news, The Octumom has been the single greatest media ratings ploy/distraction I have seen in a while. Obviously, the woman is Batshit, and her fertility “doctor” deserves to have his license stripped while he has rotten vegetagles thrown at his head, firmly locked in the stockades.

Obviously this is great fodder for Limaughites and those that seek to demonize poverty assistance as going to batshit and lazy mothers of 14 kids. And she’s not black so bonus, yo can argue this without seeming inherently racist.

Point is, this woman’s story is sick and sad, those kids are most certainly going to be fucked up for life, and the only reason we are talking about this is the Soft Media Industrial Complex lives for this kind of shit, and payed her a hefty check to do an “interview”.

All you Katie Couric, Oprah, Larry Kings and your staffers, I hope you take the time to reflect on how sad and pathetic your jobs are.

And finally, The Michael Phelps Bongtraversy keeps getting dumber. The local police has decided to clamp down, and get to the bottom of what happened at that Party, where *gasp* college kids were smoking weed.

The cops so far have arrested 8 people for a total of less that one ounce of marijuana, a ticket where I live(for one person). Aside from the fact that of course these resources could be better used to, I don’t know, investigate rapes or burglaries, these idiot asshole cops are just plain fucking stupid.

1. The photo in question has no smoke in the chamber. It is a photo of someone holding a water pipe. Even if there were smoke in the chamber and it was clear he was smoking, there is no way to prove he was smoking something illegal(or he knew he was smoking something illegal).
2. It is not illegal to be high. It is only illegal to possess or distribute drugs, it is not illegal to be under the influence of them(although it is illegal to do certain things while under the influence, like drive). That means unless you catch someone with drugs on them, unless they are publicaly intoxicated, you have nothing on them.
3. What kind of donut-sucking, pork-monkey would be dumb enough to make such high profile arrests, attract all this media attention, without checking with the DA to see if ANY OF THIS WILL BE VALID AND USABLE IN COURT. EVEN IF YOU ARE ABLE TO CONVICT ONE OR TWO OF THE EIGHT FUCKING PEOPLE ARRESTED OF SIMPLE POSSESSION, THE REST OF THESE KIDS ARE GOING TO SUE YOUR DEPARTMENT WITH A REAL SOLID CASE. YOU PUT YOURSELVES IN JEPORADY OF A LAWSUIT SO YOU CAN BUST SOME KIDS SMOKING WEED? HOW AMAZINGLY FUCKING STUPID ARE YOU?

Damn you Bong Boy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Show Must Go On

2009-02-12T09:28:00.000-08:00

The “Stimulus” Package is now in its final form. All in all, people like you and me are going to get, “on average 13 dollars more a week”. $400 bucks a year. Not starting till June.

I don’t make very much and yesterday I had nearly $200 taken out by State and Federal.

Woo. Hoo.

Thomas Edsall has an interesting piece on the Huffington Post about a group of Americans will however get a nice big old slice of the pie, the upper-middle class.

“The "compromise" legislation includes $70 billion, or just under 10 percent of the whole package, to be used expressly to take care of these affluent people.

In fact, these lucky men and women make so much money that they fall into the ever-expanding grasp of the alternative minimum tax (AMT). The AMT was originally designed in 1969 to prevent the nation's millionaires and billionaires from using tax loopholes to pay zero income tax. That year, 155 very wealthy taxpayers paid no federal tax whatsoever. This year, if the law remains as it is currently crafted, the AMT would, through bracket creep, apply to as many as 25 million taxpayers, including those making in the $85,000 to $250,000 range, depending on how many deductions they claim (the more deductions, the more likely the AMT comes into play).”

On the political front, Edsall outlines that this is a notorious swing vote, once Republican but now “essential” to democratic victory. Their play to the center to get moderates is how they have won every last major election. Play to the middle, “Woo moderates”.

Fucking amateurs. I don’t do “wooing” anywhere but the bedroom.

This of course is why the Modern democratic party of course is so capital T-Timid Appeasers. Lest That very small percentage of wealthy assholes get mad and go to the other guys.

When, dear god, will Democrats stop this ass-backwards strategy. It started with Clinton, the center wins and so forth. Nearly half of all Americans don’t vote. What percentage of those do you think would vote democrat if they were halfway interested(and were able to, with either much easier online or mail votes, and a national holiday, like maybe the 4^th of July).

Obama to be fair has been better in this regard. But still, when it comes to Change, it’s still not going proportionally to those who really need it. If anything, he’s still propping up our hopelessly retarded economic system.

You can argue all day that giving money to those who don’t “need” it in the traditional sense is a really ineffective way of creating stimulus. You are right. But you still won’t win.

The fucked truth is that the “upper-middle class” are the backbone of our consumer economy. Their spending employs the rest of us, from auto manufactures to McDonalds workers. Who do you think pays for the few schools, roads, and government beinifits that most of us actually see. Let me give you a hint, they don’t fly in corporate jets.

It’s the regular, Realtors and Doctors and Lawyers and Business Executives. The ones who play by the rules, and like it that way.

These are the ones that make just enough to keep them “living the American Dream”, but they now find themselves losing their homes, their jobs and their minds. In pockets of Suburbia all across America, every day, every single lost job, portfolio hit or Elvish news conference by Tim Geithner causes a Fear to grow. The Fear that this fragile life we carved out for ourselves, is hanging on by a thread. That the wind could just blow one day and knock it all down.

And if that were to happen, these people would lose their damn minds. I’m serious, they are so plugged into this system that, absent it, they would be crazed monkeys, paranoid(perhaps rightfully so) that they will now be the targets of those who have even less.

This is all kind of a rant on my part but the point is this, the upper-middle-class, are the glue that holds this whole fucking pyramid together. They are the curtain that those who run the show hide behind. And without them, there is no show.

And, for now, the show must go on.

Perhaps the most disturbing(yet sadly unsurprising) nationally underreported story, there is a scandal unfolding in Pennsylvania that takes “Prison-industrial complex to a new plateau”.

“For years, the juvenile court system in Wilkes-Barre operated like a conveyor belt: Youngsters were brought before judges without a lawyer, given hearings that lasted only a minute or two, and then sent off to juvenile prison for months for minor offenses.

The explanation, prosecutors say, was corruption on the bench.

In one of the most shocking cases of courtroom graft on record, two Pennsylvania judges have been charged with taking millions of dollars in kickbacks to send teenagers to two privately run youth detention centers.”

They got millions to send poor, “at-risk” kids straight to a Soviet work camp. Only to have them there graduate from con-high school to surely come back and re-enroll in adult con-college. Hookin the while they are young.

I really don’t advocate violence, but I got one word, Flogging.

Aliens?

And finally,

Pamela Anderson is living with her electrician boyfriend in a trailer.

I’s sure it’s a fabulous double wide. Props to Pam Anderson, can’t take the trailer park out that girl.

Bailouts, Beer Pong and the Bong Police

2009-02-11T15:57:00.000-08:00

Well. I managed not to post yesterday, proving that I have a tremendous propensity for not meeting the goals I set. Oh well. I'm just gonna keep trying

It seems the House and Senate are coming to some kind of agreement on the stimulus package. Do I think this will work, no. Do I have a better idea, sure. Will any of those better ideas ever get implemented, not unless what's left of our economy implodes. Thems the bricks'.

During his press-conference/town-hall/infomercial, Obama was approached by an older woman who was homeless desperate and living out of her car. Obama, didn't flinch or hestitate and came over and gave the woman a kiss on the cheek. Better yet his staff got this woman a house. You can shit all over how this is just meaningless PR but that Woman has a home now, so fuck your shit.

Moral of the Story: Ask and you shall recieve. You can't get what you want unless you actually get up the balls to ask. Do it. What's the harm in trying?

As our economy continues to suck however, more and more Americans are trying to cut costs by shopping at Big-Box stores like Walmart. These are Stores that keep their prices low by buying from the cheapest possible suppliers(cute little asian children) and not giving their workers living wages or sufficient healthcare. However tremendously evil these stores may be, the truth is, if you poor you shop where you can afford to.

I'd like to say that I don't step foot in Walmart because of Principle. But I'm poor, and like the millions of other Americans, I grit my teeth and go there to buy things that are A. only availble at Walmart in "heartland" bumble-fuck where I live and B. Actually affordable. It's simple economics, poor people in rural and urban Areas want to shop at Walmart, not because they like walmart, but because that is the only place that they can afford.

My former City and lover Chicago has for years fought to keep out Walmart from the city limits. Their are Walmarts in some of the surrounding suburbs, but so far they've stayed off city Limits. We'll see how long this lasts.

Numb-Nuts of the week goes to Sen. George W. Della Jr., who attempted to outlaw Beiruit(or Beer pong). I'm sure some frat boy's did some next level community organizing on facebook, and presumably he incurred a biblical style shitstorm.

"The Baltimore Democrat, said such games encourage excessive drinking, which leads to raucous behavior in city neighborhood. A bill he introduced late last month would have outlawed any games that award drinks as prizes in city taverns.

On Monday, a copy of Della's bill, SB 233, was circulated in e-mails and posted on Web sites of local beer pong leagues, setting off an online firestorm. Fans of drinking games sent a flurry of angry e-mails to the senator, who withdrew the legislation today on the eve of its first hearing in a committee."

And of course, Hoooray, we have a new Drug Czar. Czar of course is the approriate title for Asshole in Charge of a Failed, Morally inexcusable Draconian War. The guy cut his teeth by arguing for "less-than-lethal" devices like tazers, which while not as effective as bullets, still have been used pretty effectively on Pregnant women and the elderly.

One choice quote though, "Back in 2003, Kerlikowske was asked about his views on a local ballot initiative to make marijuana possession the lowest law enforcement priority.

In response, he stated that "arresting people for possessing marijuana for personal use... is not a priority now."

Daily Duke for 2/9/09

2009-02-09T08:13:00.001-08:00

NOTE

This is the first in what will hopefully be a daily set of updates on the state of the nation, world and or my sanity. I have a problem in that I set unrealistic goals, but I think a modest post a day isn't too much to fucking ask myself. We'll see.

These Daily Dukes will be a collection of links to different stories and posts across the Webs, mixed in with my pithy commentary and jokes. Lots of terrible jokes.

The links will run the gamut from stories about foreign policy and economic drudgery to Bratz dolls and psychic warfare with Aliens. Anything is fair game, and each day will have a theme for the stories.

Also please note their are new links, both to some mainstream news sources that you already should be reading(if you still just check CNN.com for news, stop. They rarely put forth a story of any merit and even if they do, it's either better written or cross-posted some place else). Their are also links to the latest post at a few Weirdo blogs like cryptogon and Pizza Seo that are definitely worth checking out.

Altogether, it's Duke 2.0 in the 09. Their will be much more to come hopefully in the next few months. Please check back often and tell your friends. If you have any.

If the Economy Tanks, at least I don't have anymore about Carbon Emission Night-terrors

President Obama is spending today trying to sell the nation on his just-enough-to-argue-it's-under-a-trillion-dollar package to the American people by going to Elkhart Indiana for a big Infomercial. Elkhart Indiana, is among other things, a shit-hole with an unemployment rate of 15%(it's probalby really closer to 25% but numbers lie). Oh and the KKK started there. No joke.

IF, like most people, you are kind of confused by this idea that we need to massively spend our way out of a deficit to stop our country from going more broke then congratulations financial elite, Mission Accomplished.

This deficit spending concept is called Keynesian economics, and it is known to cause ulcers in conservatives.

What it comes down to is this, our economy is based on entirely based on consumption, in other words the corner stone of our economy is people buying shit.

Now that about a 1/5 of the country is unemployed or under-employed, people have stopped buying shit at an alarming rate(Although Walmart did post a growth of over 1% last quarter, that aint good enough). States are broke enough to where California, which has the fifth largest economy in the World is forcing workers to take certain Fridays off, because the State literally can't pay them.

So in this stimulus their are billions of dollars that will end up going to state governments, and municpalities who are desperately broke now and facing shut-downs and the like. Also, unemployment benefits and food stamps will get much needed increased funding under this package.

But of course, the majority of this bill is going to "Tax-Cuts", and to "Distressed" banks, so I got 10 bucks that your Average American gets nothing more than a tax break and maybe another check that will get cashed at the liqour store.

I would hate to be in Obama's shoes right now. He has inherited a shit sandwich that is over 30 years in the making. The truth is aside from the fact that our economy is so intertwined that spillover effects now are so great that unpaid mortgages in Idaho can tank the entire economy of Iceland, this "crisis" is a direct product of over 30 years of both parties Greed and Incompetence.

In other words shiiiiit. Good luck trying to plug the leak that Icerbeg has caused in our hull. I won't hold my breath for the check.

In other news,

Florida sucks. Like really sucks. Fark has for a long time had a Florida Category. Daily comic tragedy.

And...

This is just too fucking funny. Fears over Global Warming and Climate Change are now so pronounced in certain Earth Cookies that they are literally being clinically diagnosed. Wait for it. Wait for it. HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA.

I want to meet the guy with the Medical Marijuana card, burning trees to help with his Climatephobia.

and finally

Girls Jumping On Trampolines!!!

Dancing With the Pols: Bailemos(Hillary Gets Down in PR).

2008-05-26T12:10:00.000-07:00

I think that after this election cycle ABC should start a new show called,"Dancing with the Pols". It will be a place were losing politicians and B list advisers will have a chance to strut their stuff and finally win something. Well so here it is program Director of ABC Broadcasting; my Monday Memorial Day Moment of Zen, Hillary dancing her problems away in Puerto Rico.

It seems she learned from PA and Ohio in that people apparently like their leaders to chugalug down the sauce. It TOTALLY shows you are not elitist. And judging by the damn near 40oz in her hand, Size does matter. That Bottle says, "If you don't give a damn, I don't give a f@$%".

But the Dancing, come on. Hillary, the poet fat joe said it best,"We don't dance, we just pull up our pants(suit) and lean back; lean back". You should have heeded that advice.

Why are you closing your eyes? That is dangerous while dancing. Maybe you internally cringed at the sheer ridiculousity of these shenanigans as I did. Or maybe you were just feeling the song.

Whatever it is, please don't do it again. It's as bad as Karl Rove's rap career.

Wright Isn't Wrong

2008-04-30T12:55:00.000-07:00

The campaign that won’t die has the controversy that wont die, “The Sermons of Reverend Wright”. Unless you have been living under a rock, you have heard at least one of the sound bytes from Barack Obama’s former Pastor of the Trinity United Church of Christ in Chicago. The clip of Rev. Wright in a traditional African Dress at the pulpit delivering a “controversial” sermon after 9/11 has been played ad nasuem.

Jeremiah Wright, who had maintained a very low profile for the past month had a coming out this week. First was the generally calm Bill Moyers interview. The PBS interview proved nothing in the way of controversy, they prefer substantive discourse to shouting(which is why they currently need your donations). Then came the NAACP speech, and the Smackdown Q and A at the National Press Club. Wow.

MY ABSOLUTE FAVORITE SMACKDOWN

These two performances(and they were performances) caused enough “damage” that Barack Obama was had a Press Conference on his Pastor yesterday. There could have been an emergency, “Iraq”, or “Global Food Crisis” Press Conference, but alas, the media knows that the most important thing to talk about is Jeremiah Wright (he totally kills 30,000 people a day like starvation right?).

Obama was forced to do what he had to do, divorce himself completely from Wright. I’m sure on a personal level he was upset that his former Pastor had chosen to make such a public spectacle when he did. On Wright’s part, it was stupid because it allowed the media to frame him, and forced Obama to publicly divorce his entire campaign from Wright.

Whatever his motivation Wright could have picked a better time to come out so hard. It is the media’s job to butcher reality into 10 second snippets.

Therfore Let’s just, and I know this will be difficult for some of you, slide to the universe where Wright is Right. That’s a little place I call complex reality (home).

Rev Wright: “The US Government is responsible for AIDS”.

Well it’s not like the US government has done anything bad to black people. Oh yeah that’s right, Slavery! And Jim Crow! And a Prison Industrial Complex built on the excessive Incarceration of Minorities for Minor Drug Offenses!

Is the “US Government” responsible for Aids. Well, what do you mean by “US Government”? My mailman is a part of the US Government. I don’t think he gave black people Aids.

But the US Public Health Service did intentionally infect African American men with Syphilis under the scientific premise of, “let’s see what the fuck happens” and "Fuck em' they're black. Over a 40 year period between 1932 and 1972, 399 black men in Tuskegee Alabama were given Syphilis without medicine(by 1947 Penicillin was the standard medical treatment). By the end of the “experiment” only 74 were still alive, 40 wives were infected and 17 children developed congenital syphilis.

With this happening as recent as 1972, is it not at least understandable why older African-Americans are skeptical that AIDS and HIV ravaged the African American community un-proportionally worse than any other racial group because of the behavior of their community alone?

To this day we still give more funding to provenly ineffective methods like faith based abstinence. Pray to whoever the fuck you want that you don't get AIDS, but prayers don’t prevent HIV, Condoms do.

All these facts together shed some light on why not Just Wright, but a large percentage of African Americans (and a couple Whiteys) share this view.

Rev Wright: “The US government is engaging in Terrorism, and this terrorism caused 9/11”.

Well, we did fund a little rag-tag group of Rebels fighting the Soviets back in the 1980’s. That movie with Julia Roberts, Charlie Wilson’s war I think covered it. Oh yeah, we trained and funded rebels in Afghanistan and equipped them with all the necessary tools for guerilla warfare. Then when they won we just completely abandoned them. Who was that one guy our CIA trained, oh yeah, Osama Bin Laden.

One man’s freedom fighter is another man’s terrorist. Whether they are right wing Para-military groups in Nicaragua, or Tribal warriors in the South Pacific our CIA aids violence for political purposes. That is supporting terrorism. And as Ralph Wiggum so eloquently pointed out in “The Simpsons Movie”, that brings blowback.

Rev. Wright: “God Bless America, No No No, God DAMN AMERICA”.

This is by far the most “offensive” statement that Rev. Wright made. Of course no one listened to the broader text of the sermon, but lets examine those comments.

Damn comes from the word Condemn, as in God damns or God condemns things. The Christian God follows some fairly simple rules, the 10 commandments, and Jesus’ golden one, “love thy neighbor”. The entireity of the media has fueled this outrage, “God does and will always Bless America, he certainly would not Damn it”.

How is it then that in the wealthiest nation in the world, over 40 million don’t have healthcare? How is then that in the fattest nation in the world, millions go hungry? How is it in the Freeest nation in the world, we have higher Incarceration rates than almost anywhere? How in the most righteous nation in the world, can we allow for institutionalized torture(it goes much deeper than water boarding) in the war on terror?

The truth is we can’t be. I love the people in this country. But our country has some deep flaws. And I do not for one think that if you applied a biblical god’s standards to this country, that god would not “bless us”. That God would Condemn Us, that God would Damn us.

Pope, Nazi and Confederate?

2008-04-16T12:11:00.000-07:00

Ok, this was brought to my attention today.

Notice anything wrong with this picture. Besides the missing thumb.

Wow, ok this is going to take some research. Could it be that the Nazi's and Confederates are working together. And Indiana Jones is busy fighting Aliens and Soviets? Shit.

Well it looks like it could be the Mississippi State Flag. But really, of the 50 flags, their picture was taken in front the only one with the Confederate Flag still in it.
(You can see how crappy your state flag is here)

In Mississippi, there was a 2000 state referendum on whether to take the Confederate Flag off of their State Flag. It was voted down by a 2 to 1 margin.

Top 5 Evil Hillary Laughs

2008-04-11T11:51:00.000-07:00

I know, I know, all I do is talk shit on Hillary. But after seeing her laugh in response to a question about the Columbia Trade Deal today, I gotta do it.

NUMBER 5

NUMBER 4

NUMBER 3

NUMBER 2

NUMBER 1

Rise of the Machines

2008-04-07T10:31:00.000-07:00

Ooookay. First it was the terrifying robo dog that could chase me down thru any terrain.

All that thing needs is a gun on its back or even more terrifying something like this.

And now we have met the face of our overlords.

Notice how fucking creepy it is when it comes to the camera. Oh and take a good look at that angry face. That's what its gonna look like right when it becomes self aware.

I would like to take this oppritunity to welcome our Cybernetic Rulers and say on the record may the rule with a mighty processor.

You're Wrong

2008-04-06T23:18:00.000-07:00

NOFX has a great acoustic song called "You're Wrong." Among the things they sing "You're Wrong" for are thinking pride is about nationality, thinking there will be a judgment day and agreeing with Ann Coulter because she's a (well, I can't say that here).

So, in the spirit of NOFX, I present a list of "You're Wrongs."

You're wrong if you think we're fighting Al-Qaeda in Iraq.

First it was weapons of mass destruction. Then it was Saddam's links to Sept. 11 and Osama bin Laden. Sprinkled in between those were "fighting for freedom" and "spreading democracy." Every single rationale we've been told for this war has been, at best, intellectually defunct and at worst outright lies.

Of course, the mainstream media were too scared to do their job then, but they learned their lesson, right?

Nope.

They echo the continued misconception that we are fighting Al-Qaeda in Iraq. First of all, Al-Qaeda in Iraq is not the same Al-Qaeda that is supposed to be responsible for Sept. 11. The one in Iraq is actually known as "Tanzim Qaidat al-Jihad fi Bilad al-Rafidayn." That one is hard to pronounce, let alone explain.

So, what is the size and scope of this group? Well, in 2006, the U.S. State Department estimated they made up less than 1 percent of the insurgency. But they are said to be growing, and, just like the folks in Guantanamo, "the worst of the worst."

In July of 2007, both the National Intelligence Estimate and the Defense Intelligence Agency reports stated the Al-Qaeda in Iraq were responsible for 15 percent of the violence. Trouble is, the independent Congressional Research Service said it was more like 2 percent and that false reporting of this group has gone up since the surge.

Oh, and there was no Al-Qaeda in Iraq before we went in and invaded (Saddam hated anyone who didn't worship him).

You're wrong if you support corn ethanol.

This is the favorite of politicians and big business alike. Rule No. 1 in politics: Everything is done out of self-interest. Be extremely skeptical of anything anyone in power ever says, especially if they use a feel-good marketing approach to convince you.

Ladies and gentlemen, quite frankly, corn ethanol sucks. It sucks resources, tax dollars and most of all, makes no sense. David Pimintel, a Cornell University professor of ecology and agricultural sciences, concluded that the production of corn ethanol uses 30 percent more energy than it creates.

The idea that we are moving to energy independence with ethanol is just wrong. BP uses corn in almost all its new green-washing campaigns. It serves as a method for oil companies to continue their stranglehold on us while the same time they get subsidized by our government to "fix the problems" they create (such as global warming).

Oh, and run-off from corn creates all new types of environmental problems. It is massively inefficient, and, furthermore, a subsidized ruse.

Corn ethanol is so big because big agribusiness is built on corn. That is why our Coca-Cola tastes terrible compared to Canada and Mexico's. They use sugar; we use high-fructose corn syrup.

Hemp is at least five times better than corn, and I'm sure there are things five times better than hemp. I just know corn's definitely not it.

You're wrong if you're trying to convince people there is or is not a God.

NOFX opens up the live version of their song "You're Wrong" with "If you believe there is a God, you're wrong." But the Bible says that if you don't believe in God you're wrong. Could it be that both are wrong?

The pious feel self-righteous for "saving people" by converting them to their deity.

The atheists feel self-righteous for "freeing people" from religious manipulation.

And they both won't shut up about it.

I think that those who condemn others for having different beliefs are ignorant at best. I believe that this kind of "holier-than-thou" thinking has directly contributed to the historical subjugation of women, the suppression of progressive intellectual thought and countless wars. That is my main problem with religion in a nutshell: Religion is used as a tool for the wicked to manipulate our very structure of thought.

Yet, when I see atheists such as Christopher Hitchens spew arguments about how stupid and misguided the religious are, it almost always comes across with the same supremacist tone that James Dobson has. Many of the new prominent atheists suffer from the same superiority complex of those they rail against.

I have met many rational atheists. I have met many rational religious people. What they all have in common is that they are looking for answers to complex questions. The kind that has more than a "yes" or "no" answer.

So, whatever you believe, believe it. Just quit trying to tell me how much better that makes you. If Christopher Hitchens looks at his life, this Earth and this universe in all its complexity and beauty and decides to himself, "Nope, nothing special" - fine. But he and Pat Robertson can keep it to themselves. They're both wrong.

This Dude is Dope

2008-04-03T15:19:00.001-07:00

Strollin thru youtube I came across this dude.

Super Dope.

I could jam to that for hours.

I Don't Want to Beat a Dead Horse, But this 3 AM Shit, C'mon

2008-04-02T21:23:00.000-07:00

Okay. The first 3 AM ad by Clinton was arguably effective in scaring people in Ohio and Texas. But since it has been the long running joke of the campaign.

So they release a new ad today,

same theme only this time, it's a money crisis. Except they used the exact same footage as the last ad(except for the fist clutching a dollar shot and the last girl in bed(because that girl in the original ad is a volunteer for Obama now)).

Okay, it's no secret that the Clinton Campaign is strapped for cash. But recycling what has become the joke of your campaign. What the fuck?

It just gets better though. McCain has a response ad of his own.

And whaaaa? the same fucking footage. How much in royalties to we have to pay these pajama wearing bastards? Would it really cost that much just to FUCKING FILM YOUR OWN SET OF KIDS SLEEPING AND PUT YOUR OWN SHITTY BLUE FILTER OVER IT.

JESUS, two Broke ass campaigns, Antiquated, Oblivious and unitentionally depressingly funny.

The McCain Girls: Holy Shit

2008-03-31T16:37:00.001-07:00

When I first saw the McCain Girls Video I was stunned. I didn't know what the fuck to make of it.

Maybe they just made a mall karaoke music video for fun. I thought maybe they just uploaded a video that blew up and went viral beyond their wildest dreams.

Now, after hearing her response video, I don't know what to say.

I think she is fucking serious. This is beyond words. Seriously, I got nothing.
Fuck.

The Iraq War, Where Movies Go To Die

2008-03-30T11:15:00.000-07:00

Even Ryan Philippe couldn't save Stoploss this weekend. It's numbers look absolutely abysmal.

Sadder yet, it got blown out of the water by fucking Superhero Movie, the umpteenth superhero parody this year.

Tracy Morgan should have made Fat Bitch 2.

But this is hardly news. It seems every Iraq War film released in the past few years has fallen on deaf ears. It seems this War is a place where good movies go to die.

Are people apathetic, yes. It seems that after 9/11, we as a whole(No one, not even Anti-war folks are watching these movies), prefer escapism in the movies. And on TV. It to me is the main difference between Vietnam and Today. Then, nightly news actually showed what War looked like, people made movies about the War that people went to. Nowadays, thata don' happena so much-a.

I'm just as guilty as the next person. Sure, I could have seen Lions for Lambs, but I wanted to watch Zombies. And Milla Jojovich cuz she's naked in every one of those movies.

Still I'm not giving up hope. Someone will eventually make a powerful film on this war that people will see. Let's just hope it doesn't take untill 2034 for that to happen.

American Idol's Jason Castro is the Antichrist

2008-03-27T17:49:00.000-07:00

This thing scares me.

It got famous by covering Jeff Buckley's Hallelughaahahga(I thinks thats hows its spelled)

I'm not sure what it is but it scares the living shit out of me.

I think its the Antichrist.

Worst Graphs Ever

2008-03-27T12:55:00.000-07:00

My Poli-Sci teacher today showed us this graph, which he declared is the worst graph ever.

While this graph is mind-numbingly stupid, at least it's visually appealing. He then challenged the class that if anyone could find a worse graph he would give them an A.

I came home and did a google search for "worst graph ever". I found this

and this
Publish Post
I'm getting an A.

I'm Not Racist, But...

2008-03-27T12:18:00.000-07:00

If I had a dollar for every time I heard a statement start with the words, "I'm not racist, but ..." I would be a very rich man.

No matter what massively bigoted statement follows, they seem more preoccupied with trying to convince others (and/or themselves) that they are not racist.

The question must be asked: If ignorance remains as it does, and people are more frightened of being perceived as ignorant than of being ignorant, are we making any progress?

Race relations are complex and difficult, yet it seems in the many years since the civil rights movement, image has outweighed substance. People have ceased being real with themselves and others.

Usually the "I'm not racist, but . . . " is followed by some statement like, "black people are loud" or, "Mexicans don't have insurance." These statements are laced with emotions and are derived from our stereotypes. Stereotypes, however, are not the fundamental problem.

We need stereotypes. They are necessary for our brain to process information. At any given second, your senses are being bombarded with all types of datasets, which are simultaneously being processed. To make any sort of sense of this monstrous stream of information, your brain groups things into categories. Racial stereotypes are no different; everyone has internalized racial stereotypes.

Stereotypes do contribute negatively to race relations. If you perceive another group as untrustworthy or dangerous, chances are you will not want to associate with them. Barack Obama's recent speech on race addressed the stereotype problem. He mentioned his white grandmother, "Who once confessed her fear of black men who passed by her on the street, and who on more than one occasion has uttered racial or ethnic stereotypes that made me cringe."

He went further to try to address the anger and resentment that built through time in both the white and black communities. He went on to ask America to have a real dialogue, one that looks at the root causes of problems rather than choose demagogues. Conservative talk radio of course chooses the demagogue route.

Rush Limbaugh is the perfect case study of the modern angry white male. He rails all day about the ills of our "liberal welfare state," and what he sees as ethnic favoritism toward minorities. The problem, of course, is that Limbaugh is wrong and a liar. According to his housekeeper Wilma Cline, he on enough "hillbilly heroin" to kill a small donkey at the same time he proclaimed that the drug dealers should get the death penalty.

But the reason he is wrong isn't because of his ignorant and uniformed stances, or the fact he gets higher than Amy Winehouse. Limbaugh is wrong because he contradicts his core principles constantly.

According to a column he wrote, Limbaugh believes in working toward a "color-blind society." Essentially, he wants no special treatment for anyone whatsoever. Of course, he doesn't take into account the very unequal playing field that already exists in America. Of course, he perpetuates the vilest of racial stereotypes (just listen to the song, "Barack the Magic Negro," he aired on his radio show).

But Limbaugh isn't racist; he is just working toward a post-racial America, just like Clarence Thomas and Alan Keyes.

Limbaugh and his ilk fuel this idea of white oppression, but they didn't invent it. Rush became popular because he voiced the ignorance that was just under the surface. Political correctness, no matter how well intentioned, produced a backlash because the "silent white majority" felt that its freedoms were under assault.

Race relations are complex and difficult. But progress isn't made without open and honest dialogue. We are kidding ourselves if we expect to have discussions on issues such as race without understanding they will be uncomfortable.

Ignorance is uncomfortable, but it is here to stay.

I actually agree with Limbaugh that we should move toward a post-racial society, and that speech should never be censored. In order to accomplish this, however, a balanced open and honest dialogue should begin.

The Daily Show did a segment after Obama's speech where Jon Stewart and his "black correspondent" Larry Willmore had a hilarious and uncomfortable frank race discussion. Stewart asked questions like, "Why do your car stereos have to be so loud?" and Willmore asked, "Why do you ruin music?"

The jokes that are funniest are the ones that show us truths about ourselves.

So rather than worry about being perceived as ignorant, just be ignorant. That does not mean use racial slurs or derogatory comments, it means say what you really feel without trying to qualify it. The more open and honest you are with your feelings, the easier it is to examine why it is you feel that way.

That is how we will learn and move forward as a country. Progress is a slow process, but when the ball starts rolling in the right direction, nothing can stop it.

Hillary's Rainbow Over Texas

2008-03-26T16:40:00.000-07:00

We are yet to see whether Hillary's Bosnia lie will be played out by the MSM in the next few days. Regardless, she is running out of money and support real quick. One thing is for sure, the CBS bosnia expose has over 2 mllion views in all of its various forms, and that number is rising.

She of course brought this on herself, but one wonders, will this be her "Rainbow over Texas". If you don't know what that phrase refers to(I didn't untill 10 minutes ago), it refers to a Roy Rogers film where he plays himself as a glam-cowboy singer in texas.

According to Wikipedia, "since that time, "rainbow over Texas" has become a colloquialism for anyone who self-aggrandizes their own life in mythic and fantastical terms. For example, an individual who confabulates their previous experiences or resume out of either ignorance or self-importance is liked to a "rainbow over Texas".

Now that her credibility is coming into question, some are predicataing an avalanche of negative press, "vetting" her claims on everything from NAFTA and Ireland to the SCHIP bill. I am not putting all my faith on the MSM to all of a sudden do its job, but at this point they smell blood, and they are sharks at the end of the day.

Regardless she brought this on herself. She was the one to decide on the scorched earth, kitchen sink, me or no-one approach, exemplified by her recent "sudden" rehashing of the Wright nonsense. What goes around comes around.

Clinton Tax Returns Theories

2008-03-24T11:06:00.000-07:00

So according to Sam Stein at the Huffington Post, Hillary intends to release her Tax returns just a few days before the PA primary.

"On a conference call with reporters, Howard Wolfson offered a "categorical yes" when asked if the New York Democrat would make public this information with enough time to spare so that voters in the Keystone State could review it."

I have 3 theories on why they would release these returns just 3 days before the (crucial to her) Pennsylvania election.

Theory 1.
In hopes of a weekend news cycle being less intense than say a monday or tuesday morning story(like the Wright controversy) they release the Returns into the mix on a Saturday or Sunday to try and lessen the blow. Any attacks that are made on the Tax returns the Clinton Camp will spin as just last minute Election mud-slinging on the part of Obama.

Theory 2.
They don't plan on actually releasing them. At least not the full ones. Just like they did with her schedules as First Lady, they will release the returns with partial sections Blacked out, especally those in relation to the 5 Million Dollar loan she gave her campaign.

Theory 3.
She plans on releasing them right before the election in a State she is all but certain to win in order to try and substantiate this idea that she has been "vetted". She will essentially use the PA win she almost certainly will gain as a way to essentially release a negative story and swuash it 2 days later in the news cycle.

It could also be a combination of two or all three of these theories.

Clinton News Network is at it again

2008-03-19T18:57:00.000-07:00

Ok, now this is just getting ridiculous. Oh and to say choosing this picture isn't deliberate is stupid, they defintiely choose it. He looks like he has Down Syndrome in this photo. Oh and notice what the article is in reference to.

People say that all pictures of HIllary are bad ones. That's just cuz she's ugly
On the inside.

UPDATE
From www.cracked.com

Hillary Attended Superman's Funeral with Lex Luthor

Echo Chamber Zeitgeist

2008-03-19T18:56:00.000-07:00

After any debate, primary, caucus or other media-worthy event, modern political campaigns send their best storytellers to a reporter's feeding frenzy. Here these "masters of political spin" attempt to create the most compelling media narrative about their candidate for the subsequent news cycle.

Matt Taibbi, a reporter for Rolling Stone, recently did a segment for "Real Time With Bill Maher" on these political spin rooms. Aside from showing how ridiculous these events are backstage, Taibbi correctly observed that these places are essentially "echo chambers," wherein "common knowledge" is manufactured and then readily accepted as literal truth.

Ultimately, the media is telling a story. William Randolph Hearst was the first of the modern media barons to realize that facts don't sell papers, sensationalism does. Since ultimately the media's goal is to make money, it constantly develops narratives that follow common literary arcs (falls from grace, David vs. Goliath and redemption) that tell stories rather than explain them.

What allows some of the modern media to do this so well are the echo chambers. These chambers legitimize false information through heavy media coverage even if it is acknowledged in the story as inaccurate or wrong. Essentially, they echo lies enough times to make them a part of the collective conscious; they lie so much that they make it truth.

Case and point, Supery-Duper Tuesday II (or whatever they called it). The facts are that Hillary Clinton, after losing 12 consecutive states, was barely able to hold on to Texas, Rhode Island and Ohio. Texas and Ohio, which her campaign once touted as their 20 point-plus lead "firewall" states, made a significant shift toward Obama. In turn, he was able to make all these inroads despite an avalanche of Clinton-orchestrated negative press.

And when the dust settles (the Texas caucus results aren't all in yet, but I got $20 on Obama), Hillary will still be losing by nearly the same amount of delegates that she was before Tuesday.

But this is not the story. The headlines are, "She's Back" and, "She has the wind at her back." Her campaign, which originally said it was about delegates and not momentum, has now attempted to craft its resurrection through a narrative of momentum they originally dismissed.

It hurts my head.

But this echo chamber reality we live in doesn't just apply to presidential campaigns. This how we ended up as bad as we are in Iraq. Karl Rove understood that if you said something untrue enough times, you could make it true. If you need further proof, just turn on Fox News.

Right now. Go ahead.

See, they just lied. Told ya.

This is why, as a country, we believed there were weapons of mass destruction in Iraq. This is why we thought Iraq had something to do with Sept. 11. This is why right now, in Iraq, we think that the majority of whom we are fighting is "al Qaeda" and our "surge" is working.

Through talk radio, 24 cable networks and now the blogosphere, the powers that be have created such a powerful echo chamber that we now live in an Orwellian reality. That is why people believe that war is peace, up is down and Barack Obama is a Muslim.

Zeitgeist is a term that is used to refer to the commonly perceived truths or ethos of a particular group. Echo chambers have manufactured our false zeitgeists.

As the prophet George Carlin once said, "Don't take any shit from the Zeitgeist."

Just Say No

2008-03-19T14:38:00.000-07:00

Eli Lilly developed Fluoxetine hydrochloride, better known as Prozac as an antidepressant throughout the 70’s and 80’s. It has been used to treat a broad array of mental health disorders including (but not limited to) clinical depression, obsessive compulsive disorder, bulimia nervosa, premenstrual dysphoric disorder and Hypochondria.

Thats a fuck-ton of problems to solve for one pill.

Prozac made its US debut in 1987 and quickly became a mega hit. The patent expired in 2001(after making Eli Lilly obscenely rich) and the generic version is still extremely popular today. In 2006 23.1 Million prescriptions were given for generic Prozac making it number 3 on that year’s legal drug top 5 list, which provides a glimpse at the size of the Behemoth Legal drug industry.

Problem with Prozac is that it doesn’t really work. At least not as well as Drug Companies say it does.

The truth is that the pharmaceutical industry isn’t in the business of curing. That would be bad business. They are in the industry of treatment, which keeps people on prescriptions for long periods of time.

You can see this principle illustrated in this flowchart.

They are a business, whose sole goal is to make money, and the way they make money is by having more people buy their Product. So they sell their product and look at numbers the same way that GE does with washing machines. Only problem is that Prozac isn’t a washing machine.

A great book on the subject is “The Truth about Drug Companies: How they Deceive Us and What to Do About It” by Dr. Marcia Angell the former editor of The New England Journal Of Medicine.

There is a good Mother Jones Interview with her here.

She refutes the major lie of pharmaceutical companies, that they are “powerhouses of innovation” and their profits are deserved and than “fairly” reinvested into new Research and Development to help humanity.

Bullshit Ex. Figure 1.1

She shows how these companies actually invest 2.5 times more money in marketing and advertising their products than they do in new research and development. Again, smart moves if you’re in the business of selling washing machines, unethical if you’re selling Prozac.

But it doesn’t stop there, Dr. Angell goes on to show that about 75% of the “new drugs” they market are “me-too” drugs, which are essentially the same(if not worse) than other drugs already on the market

They claim that they are free-market adherents, yet vie for government handout “research grants”. They take drugs developed at Universities, grossly inflate the price to the American Consumer and compensate those researchers and schools with next to nothing. One more time, this kind of business is smart if you’re selling washing machines, but it is downright evil if you are selling Prozac.

What these companies do is use Drug “Representatives”(salesman) to employ every underhanded trick in the book(cakes for your daughters birthdays, golf in Fiji etc.) to get doctors to prescribe their medication.

Would you like to be a rep why just click here. Seriously this site is probably beautiful in how it illustrates how far from reality this whole industry is.

And for more information on Drug Reps check out the story of Shahram Ahari who worked for Eli Lilly for two years selling Prozac and Zyprexa.

Sure they use in-house studies, and fancy color coded charts to convince doctors that their “medicine” is helpful, but so did Cigarette Companies.

Remember, 9 out of 10 doctors smoked Camels.

When asked if they are swayed by Drug Reps, most doctors say very little or not at all. But when asked about how they think their peers are persuaded, they respond that their peers are very influenced by these same reps. This disconnect is intentional and keeps these companies laughing all the way to the bank.

This brings us full circle back to Prozac.

A study published last month showed that Prozac and similar drugs did not have a significant difference in treating depression than a placebo except in the most severe cases.

We continue to feed an industry that goal is to hook us on inferior products, with no regard for consequence. Today, Parents and Doctors alike must concede that there is no magic Pill substitution for Parenting or Therapy, and finally starve this beast.

This is by no means a call for people to flush their pills down the toilet.

In fact, withdrawal is one of the most difficult problems associated with prescriptions drugs.
These chemicals are way too dangerous to play around with, and Doctors are essential in making sure that any change that it is done safely.

Someone once told me that sunny days were nothing; without the rainy ones nothing has substance.

Just about Every great Artist, Politician and Writer has suffered from depression.

For an incomplete list, click here.

That just made you feel better didn't it?

Mental health is a complex, and medication can be helpful. But without a serious examination of the cause of one’s depression, coupled with a constructive healing method like therapy no real progress can be made. Root problems don’t go away when masked by drugs, be they legal or not.

Depression may just be nature’s way of helping us to our natural path, indicating when we need to adjust our lives to better attain fulfillment.

Taming of the Shrew: The Hillary Clinton Story

2008-02-27T13:04:00.000-08:00

Newsweek’s Jonathan Alter had a great quote on the Clinton’s relationship with power. He stated that they view losing their power the same way “hard-core gun owners” do, “over their cold dead hands”. Hillary’s recent behavior, epitomized in her performance at Tuesday night’s debate only seemed to substantiate that.

Both Hillary and Bill have been career politicians. She sacrificed what looked like a successful career of her own in politics, to support Bill’s endeavors. In making this decision, her intentions have always been to use her position with Bill as a way to further her own career. She kept her name Rodham (at the behest of both of their mothers) so that according to her, they could “separate their personal lives”. Her support helped Bill tremendously as both Arkansas’ Governor and as President, and he owes much of his success to her.

The Clinton’s suffered one of their first (and rare) losses, his re-election bid as Arkansas governor. Incumbent Bill was defeated, and after that she “made a few changes” during their next campaign. After all, it was the 80’s by then, and that whole 70’s feminist name-keeping thing, well, let’s just say she pretty much dropped the Rodham for Mrs. Bill Clinton(even though she brought in more bacon from 78-92).

But this was always phase one of the plan. Phase two has always been the Hillary winning the white house. Her entire carpet-bag Senate career for New York was just a springboard to the White House.

Hillary is one of the most polarizing people in this country, someone who gets daily doses of vitriol from both the Right and Left. She is absolutely correct in saying that she has always been a target of “vicious” political attacks. She is very good at standing up to criticism, and the machine that the Clintons have built fights any republican attack machine valiantly, almost like an episode of “Battle Bots”.

Her entire Presidential campaign was built on the “experience” of being able to withstand, “unfair” attacks. Why then did she use a poorly-written and acted SNL skit as a means to cry victim? Comedy was never her strong point, and I do think people will refer to her, “Should we ask him if he’s comfortable and needs a pillow” line as a Dean moment. In this life and especially in politics, no-one gets a free-ride.

Imagine if Obama had lost over 10 straight contests, rose less money, and started going negative when he was down in the polls. The media would be pouncing on him the same if not harder. If anything, thanks in part to your campaign Obama has wasted his time arguing ridiculous, and thinly veiled racist-attacks about his Christianity and condemnation of Farrakhan. Clinton’s attempt to try and paint Obama as somehow anti-Semitic by complaining he “denounced” when he should have “rejected” Farrakhan, actually managed to backfire live in Obama’s coffin nailing response, “If the word 'reject' Senator Clinton feels is stronger than the word 'denounce,' then I'm happy to concede the point and I would reject and denounce."

I believe Hillary believes that her sacrifices were going to guarantee her the White House. She felt and was probably told if she was patient and followed the script and she would have what she desired. This is why I almost feel bad for her. Well, almost.

Her performance in the debate last night, coupled with her attacks leveled at Obama in the past few days are utterly inexcusable. The NYT described Hillary’s new strategy as “the Kitchen Sink”. She hasn’t just thrown the sink; she threw the microwave, toaster, blender, oven mitts….anything she could get her hands on.

Her mockery of Obama’s speeches which have inspired new people into the Democratic Party would be funny, if they weren’t outright damaging to her party. She has decided to attempt a last ditch, scorched-earth policy, using John McCain’s same attacks, and surrogates like Bob (Black Exploitation Television) Johnson to paint him as a drugged up-Muslim who wants to make sweet love to our enemies and bomb our allies.

So here it is Hillary, STOP. Do not pass go and do not collect another $200 of special interest money. When you lose next Tuesday (either Texas, Ohio or both), do the right thing and drop out. So you didn’t get the Presidency that you compromised yourself to get. Al Gore didn’t either and life still worked out pretty well for him.

Hillary, the Man in the Yellow Hat called, he wants his Jacket back.

2008-02-26T11:53:00.000-08:00

What the fuck is up with Hillary's wardrobe. Everytime she needs to stand out she wears some type of man-ish Yellow suit. Here she was right after super tuesday.

She looks like a fucking banana.

But when she made her shrewish speech mocking obama on sunday, she rocked the most hideous man-jacket I've ever seen.

Yup, the raincoat looking thing.

Jesus Hillary, the man in the yellow hat called

He wants his jacket back.

UPDATE

Oh my god, it just doesn't stop. This is the main photo as of 4:00 PM central on Drudge.

Money says she goes Yellow in the debate.

2008-02-20T15:45:00.000-08:00

Fuck The Kids, Fuck The Whales and Save the TV

Yesterday, hoping to find something intellectually stimulating to cure my boredom I, like most good Americans, turned on my TV. I thought to myself, I’ll watch “something educational”, like the Discovery or History Channel, thinking that surely they will have engaging and thought-provoking material.

Not even fucking “Cash Cab”.

I started to question whether or not I was in an episode of the Twilight Zone. On the “Discovery” Channel, there was an hour long documentary on Alien Vampires.

Real Vampires from outer space, not to be confused with the industrial-black metal band.

They have a single, "Nuns are Pregnant".... REALLY heavy stuff. Wore on my soul.

Anywhoo,

On the “History” Channel there was an hour long documentary on Big foot’s cousin, Big Bird (seriously, a supposed giant bird).

The H is for History.

What happened to the once lone beacons of intelligent programming?

I Fucking grew up on the Discovery and History Channels. But their programming has significantly changed, both in subject and content. Let me

first be clear, I love Mythbusters, and a few other programs on these channels that I enjoy.

However, in the past few years I noticed the appearance of two specific and vile types of the programming, Make Believe and Apocalypse-Vision.

Make-Believe programming is where we get Alien Vampires and Big Bird. The formula is simple, strange alien, ghost, monster etc., event.

For this example, we will use MAN-BIRD, Defender of Freedom.

Note:Man-Bird is in no way similair to Birdman a registered trademark of Hanna-Barbera inc.

followed by large bearded “experts”,

who get refuted by other less bearded “experts”,

ending with a Saturday morning “who do you believe?” cliffhanger.

To all you network executives, I don’t know if it’s cocaine or what, but how high to you have to be to think that this crap is a good programming for your channel?

Sure, it probably does boost your ratings. I am very aware that at least 1/3 of all people watching “How it’s Made” on the History Channel are stoned. But you are destroying your networks integrity, and only putting out the same ratings-obsessed, vapid commercial drivel that spawned a market for your channels in the first place.

At the end of the day, it’s not even the fact that you do shows on UFO’s or ghosts, it is how bad those shows are. They are flashy, ridiculously packaged and altogether bad journalism/history/whatever you want to call it. Why not do a serious program interviewing members of the National Disclosure Project, a VERY REAL group of NASA scientists, pilots and high ranking military and defense officials that has publicly stated not only have we been visited by Extra Terrestrials, but the US government is covering it up and has been doing so for a long time.

Watch their video here.

By all means do a show on Aliens, but enough with this cartoon shit and bearded vs. non-bearded debates.

More than anything though, your current fascination with the Apocalypse is the worst. Every other week, I am bombarded with commercials that make me want to poop my pants. “Gamma Radiation could microwave the Earth at any time without notice” or “A computer program has predicted the world will end in 2012”. Would you people please stop. Cease. Desist.

Be it Nostradamus, some Mayan Calendar, or Optimus Prime I DO NOT CARE WHEN YOU THINK THE WORLD WILL END.

First this programming is just as mind-numbing and flashy as your UFO crap. Second, If we are all going to die in some inescapable global catastrophe,

A. It is entirely un-productive and unnecessary to freak out over what’s inevitable (death)

B. If it happens, be glad you get to see it.

Finally, your Networks should be held liable for how many nervous breakdowns your endless array of End of the World shows have caused.

So please, coke-addicted network executives, put the discovery back in Discovery Channel. And put the History back in History Channel, Although could you make it a little less White this time?

No.

Well, just thought I’d ask.

fuckers

Valentine's Day Commandments

2008-02-13T11:26:00.001-08:00

Valentine's Day Commandments

Thou Shall Not Purchase Hallmark.

The biggest problem with Valentine’s Day is its inherent commercialization. In fairness, the modern incarnation of Valentine’s Day has always been a for-profit scam, but it exists today as such only because we buy (into) it. It is common for cultures to have traditions and holidays like Valentine’s Day. A day for people to share their romantic love is great (in theory).

However, the commercially expected mandates of Valentine’s Day make the day less than genuine. Our Valentine’s Day seems more forced than the new Russian Equivalent, Conception Day, wherein people are given a holiday from work, a government issue “love kit”, and a chance at winning a prize if you have a child exactly 9 months from that day.

So rather than buy your significant other a 4 foot teddy bear or $10 impersonal mp3 greeting card, do something authentic like cooking dinner or writing them a letter.

Thou Shall Not Purchase Roses:

This is for the guys. Look I know women like flowers. Why? I don’t know, I guess for the same reason they like shoes and Project Runway. But Roses on Valentine’s Day is just so incredibly lame and predictably cheesy. Just give it two weeks and they will wither and die like apparently your sense of creativity and spontaneity did years ago.

Whatever you do, if you do decide to throw on the cheese and get Roses, DO NOT BUY JUST ONE. It makes you look like a tool. That is unless it is made of chocolate. Then I suppose it’s forgivably delicious.

Thou Shall Do Something Special For Their Loved One More Than Just Once a Year:

If you do special things for your partner only on days of obligation (Valentine’s, Birthdays, Anniversaries), either your relationship, (or more likely) you need to go. When you care about someone, you do special things for them because you want to, not because you have to.

Showing someone that you love them is not supposed to be a chore. In a week or two, take your partner out on a date just because it’s Tuesday. Or better yet buy “Across the Universe”,

the most surefire date movie of the past 10 years. The more spontaneous the sign of affection, the more exciting and worthwhile it will be.

Thou Shall Call All of Those You Love.

If there is going to be a day for love, why not go ahead and just go all out. Give your friends Sponge Bob Valentines; pass out those crappy chalk hearts to your neighbors.

And tell your family you them. Mom, family, I love you.

And finally, Thou Shall Go To the Bar if Thou Art Single.

If this V-Day you find yourself alone, don’t fret, there are many folks just like you. I challenge you to name a better day for hooking-up than Valentine’s Day. Everyone there will be just as anxious and hopeful as you are. It’s easier than shooting fish in a barrel. And more fun too.

Thou shall only need love.

The Beatles once said, “All you need is Love”. At the end of the day, I figure that’s the only commandment worth following. Happy Valentine’s Day Megan.

Super Tuesday Cluster-Fuck and Beyond: Aftermath(UPDATE)

2008-02-11T10:12:00.000-08:00

The most over-hyped day in politics came and went, welcome to the aftermath. The punditry has been flapping their talking heads for the past week so here is the Duke reports offical Aftermath Of Super Tuesday Cluster-Fuck

Republicans: The republican nomination was all but decided Tuesday. The comeback Geriatric McCain was able to swing away with the majority of states and delegates, and is now a shoe-in for the nomination. McCain’s comeback has been a surprising and clear indicator of a fight within the Republican Party.

Mitt Romney was never that conservative, but he did look like an Arrowhead Model. However because of the inept candidacies of Rudy Giuliani and Fred Thompson, Romney became de-facto, and conservatives distrusting of McCain flocked to him as their only hope. In the end however, no matter what Rush Limbaugh said or did, Romney lost and McCain won.

Huckabee gave McCain the edge to win. There are 3 (sometimes overlapping) types of conservatives, social (generally Christian), economic and defense. Huckabee was able to stay in long enough to woo both evangelicals and Walker Texas Ranger fans away from Romney. The fact that he was Mormon didn’t help.

In the next few weeks, McCain will try to make amends with the conservatives who distrust him on issues like immigration and campaign Finance reform. He will accomplish this by nominating a southern conservative, possibly Huckabee or Fred Thompson to do the same thing JFK did with LBJ, appease.

UPDATE: Huckabee has decided to stick it in. The Republican Party is running around like a chicken with its head cut off. Romney’s Delegates are up for grabs and Huckabee has the VERY LONG SHOT possibility of beating McCain if he can muster some last minute anti-McCain majorities.

The Republican Establishment has sided with McCain, and they hate Huckabee. This most likely is already done, but with this election so far, who knows.

RON PAUL IS ESSENTIALLY DROPPING OUT. Unfortunately, fervent support even from myself wasn’t able to get Paul into even Huckabee longshot territory. The campaign has been worthwhile and important. The most important thing is that this new Libertarian movement stays together and fights on. Ron Paul was never the savior of America, he was an honest politician in a time where there are none. He needs to focus on being re-elected to congress to keep his voice heard. If you were passionate about Paul and his message continue the real fight.

Great change will not come from the top down. You will be sitting around with your thumb up your ass before that shit will ever happen. Start banding together at state and local levels to elect officials that share the message of freedom from oppressive government. But without this base, progressives, greens, libertarians, any third party group will not succeed. We need to stop focusing about shit like the presidency and start focusing on local, state, and congressional races. Ron Paul would agree, that is how you fuck their system.

Democrats: The democratic side Tuesday was less decisive. Hillary was able to hold off Obama’s increasing momentum. While Obama is slightly ahead in delegates, Hillary is by no means out of the race, but fundraising and polls do indicate a clear momentum for Obama. He raised 30 million in January and millions more this week whereas Hillary has wrote her campaign a check for 5 million and asked staff to go without pay. Obama clearly has the wind at his back.

However the upcoming states will be very difficult for either to win outright. With the exception of a huge surprise or gaffe, this fight could very well go all the way to the convention, something that DNC chair Howard Dean has already warned against. And unfortunately, it ultimately may be decided thru backdoor party treachery.

Super delegates and invalid elections in Michigan and Florida may end up deciding this nomination. Super delegates are not elected by primaries or caucuses, they are party establishment who can vote for whoever they want and are not tied to the wishes of the people. They have been shown to favor Clinton and they will be hard fought over. Ultimately however, someone could win the majority of delegates but have the nomination stripped if the super delegates decide to spoil it.

Even more troubling to the Obama camp is the problem with Michigan and Florida. They moved up their primaries illegally so the party penalized them by stripping their delegates. The candidates agreed to not campaign there except, at the last second, Hillary broke her promise. She didn’t remove her name from the Ballot in Michigan as promised like Obama and Edwards and she campaigned in Florida when she said she wouldn’t. Now she is crying that although the contests weren’t sanctioned she wants the delegates. If she is able to get these delegates, aside from being an outright liar and cheat, she will be the Democratic Nominee.

The Republicans want Hillary because they think they can beat her. Imagine John McCain, who looks like the crypt keeper up next to the dynamic, “clean” Obama. No contest.

But at the end of the day November is months away. A third party runner could shift these numbers all out of whack; Ron Paul isn’t going anywhere yet. At the end of the day, Tuesday gave us McCain, took from us Mitt, and set the stage for a bitter and backdoor fight between Obama and Clinton. Now would someone end the writers strike so we Americans can go back to not paying attention? Our head hurts.

UPDATE: Obama is kicking some Hill-dog ass. He swept her over the weekend and looks like he will continue to do so for the next couple weeks. She has changed head staff around and now is trying to rebuild her image as that of underdog. She has to win in Texas and Ohio to have any shot at legitimately claiming the Nomination. We shall see if when the inevitable Obama popular victory happens if she will bow out gracefully(with might I add a better shot of making a successful bid later) or try and steal it thru democrats of Florida. Time will tell.

The Constraints of Soundbytes and Art

2008-02-11T10:10:00.000-08:00

You are sitting watching TV, and a commercial comes on. It is a montage of beautiful scenery, flowing rivers and smiling kids. No it’s not the next pharmaceutical wonder-drug, or some politicians campaign commercial, it is a message from the wonderful and kind oil industry. Following after BP almost all the major oil companies have been on a PR blitz recently to convince the American Public that they are environmental stewards. They tout increased ethanol production and funding for “alternative” energy as proof of there “reformed greenery”. To explain why exactly that oil companies are by no means environmental stewards in their practices today would take a whole different column, if not a book. Rather than address this one case, I feel the need to discuss the larger issue of the power of images and sound in the 21^st century.

The commercial has its roots in revolutionary Soviet Russian art and politics. Early Soviet films like Battleship Potemkin were devolved and used as Soviet propaganda. These films abandoned the traditional linear storytelling in favor of a collection of images that meant to invoke emotion and shape thought. This is what our current 30 second advertising spot is based upon. The commercial is a collection of images and sounds that are meant to intentionally invoke specific emotions and often particular primal instincts in order to shape thought. Truth in advertising is always thrown under a bus; these ads are made to sell you on a particular product or ideology. For the past half century, in ever increasing ways these ads, and the thousand other product placements, internet banners, logos and print ads have impacted and formed our common consciousness without any real critical thinking about them.

This is why we have a sort of false consciousness is the one in which American’s know how much a chicken bowl at KFC costs, but not the difference between Sunnis and Shiites. We know that we are in Iraq because of WMD’s, Bin Laden and 9/11. We live in a sound byte culture in which the fantastic amount of information we receive and process is neatly packaged for us. This sound byte, stereotype packaging comes with a price, the loss of reality. There are journalists that go in depth into the actual story, opting for objective investigation and journalism instead of corporate and pentagon produced PR videos; but this information compromises only a small minority of the information individuals disseminate. Among Americans, even those who actually try and seek out the pertinent, valuable news, it is undoubtedly much easier to flick on FOX or check the ticker on CNN. While some organizations are obviously worse than others, (FOX), our social construction is what is developing this false consciousness. This falsity is so pervasive in our society that everything, every network, company and person is tainted by it.

In the end, it’s all about the Benjamin’s baby. Ultimately, corporate bottom lines are the reason why important yet complex stories are abandoned for the next missing white woman. This consciousness is supported by power elite the fact that we like to be entertained much more than we like to be informed. Even though fundamentally and ideologically opposite, the Beatles and modern day car companies have become married in a sick form of capitalist exploitation. Beautiful art, both in the music and images are changed into the means in which something can be effectively marketed. Art is not a machine; you do cannot destroy art but it can certainly pervert it.

Images, sounds, ads and montages affect us psychologically, but it doesn’t always have to be bad. Art is the potential in humans that binds with our creativity which has the power to help in the struggle for progress. A great example of this is the new film, “Across the Universe”, in theatres now. It is the music of the Beatles, set to a narrative of the turbulent 60’s weaving music, politics, love, art and sexuality all into a moving two hour film. I never really grew up with the Beatles, but to hear that music and see where it came from was powerful beyond words. We the people have the ability to create the anti-ad, to see something like the Beatles not as a revolution in car-making but in the revolutionary context of their time. So the next time you see something on TV, critically analyze it, and, if it doesn’t add up then tune out, turn off and drop it like it’s hot(garbage that is).

BAD JESUS: Heath Ledger's Death and Christian Hate

2008-02-11T10:08:00.002-08:00

Bill Hicks has a famous stand up line about how he was confronted by two angry patrons that were upset over his subject matter. They said, “Hey buddy, we’re Christians and we don’t like what you said”. To which Mr. Hicks replied, “yeah, so, forgive me”.

Intolerance transcends race, gender and religion but, it is modern religious intolerance that is getting a great deal of attention today. Religious intolerance is nothing new, humans have been killing each other over god since the dawn of civilization. However modern religious intolerance has developed into a strange beast here in America. The new modern religious intolerance is that of the supposed religious, especially upon those who they have deemed as evil.

Atheists and agnostics can be intolerant(and annoying ie: Christopher Hitchens), but there is a difference in how even the most fervent of the secular take their beliefs. The majority of Religious violence is carried out by those who are supposedly religious. In America, how many Atheists are blowing up Right-to-Life Buildings and Churches? How many agnostics are home schooling their children that those who don’t believe like them are evil and destined to burn in a lake of fire?

The vast majority of religious people are of course not violent. Belief in some form of Higher Power or existence has inspired many to act peacefully. And all the world’s major religions basically boil down to the same golden rule, treat other people like you want to be treated, love thy neighbor. Personally, I myself find Atheism rather boring and unappreciative (not of god necessarily, but life).

However it is the same faith that has inspired people throughout history like Dr. Martin Luther King and Gandhi that can fuel religious Zealots. When you think you have god on your side, you are convinced that you are just and true, whether or not you actually are. The level of faith that someone has does not make them just, and that same faith can blind people from rationally examining their beliefs.

The extremes of intolerance are personified in the Westboro Baptist Church. This is the group that protests Military Funerals, because they feel that America should be punished for its homosexuality. They have just announced they are going to protest Heath Ledger’s funeral, something that even the Joker wouldn’t find funny.

Of course this is an extreme example of intolerance, but at the same time, most Christian faiths condemn homosexuality as evil. Are then most Christians as evil as Fred Phelps and the like? No, but both do agree on the same intolerant principle. It seems to me that if this group protested Aids patient Funerals instead of military ones, you wouldn’t have seen nearly as massive the condemnation they received.

I honestly feel bad for the devout Christians these days. They are receiving so many mixed messages on what it is to be good, and their leadership whom they have given everything to have been of absolutely no help. Those who have built empires on peoples faiths have perverted their religion to condemn what they call perversion, only to time and time again be caught engaging in this same perversion they condemned. It is just perverted.

Jesus, Buddha, Moses, Mohammed, Krishna, you name the deity, their message was never one of intolerance. That is why the secular often call the religious hypocrites, they feel that these people use a religion of peace to preach hate. And it is not all religious people by any means, but those who are religious, demand accountability from your leaders and their churches. And please use that big brain that god gave you to ask questions.

DUKE SMOKES FAT BLUNTS FOR FREEDOM

2008-02-11T10:08:00.001-08:00

Illinois is now making the move to ban Salvia, a naturally growing plant that is sold as a legal light hallucinogen. This is just business as usual for American politicians. Marijuana is the most widely used illegal drug in America and because of that it has been the scourge of opportunist politicians, moral finger-wavers and all types of other grand-standers. The war on marijuana (yes war on a plant, even though it can’t really fight or talk), has cost taxpayers in the country billions of wasted dollars, prevented the development of a much needed and promising industry and has ruined the lives of non-violent offenders and their families.

It is difficult to gauge the actual number of American’s who use marijuana. NORML, the National organization for the reform of Marijuana laws does a good job of collecting data and comparing it with private and government data. According to NORML user numbers generally fall at about 20 million, with about 11 million people using regularly. This is an enormous segment of the US population and makes marijuana the third most used substance (behind tobacco and alcohol) and the most used illegal substance. The demographics of this group are not just your cast of characters from “half-baked”, old dead-heads and the Method Man, this group is made up of mostly tax-paying law abiding citizens.

Marijuana is dangerous in the sense that any mood altering chemical is dangerous. It slows reaction time, thus making things like driving more dangerous. The active ingredient in marijuana that produces these effects is a chemical called THC. This chemical can come in amounts from 3% to about 30% although certain oils and hash have even higher percentages. That can make dosage difficult especially for the novice user. Marijuana smoke is cancerous yet it not toxic; no one has ever overdosed from marijuana. The government currently has a campaign saying that one joint is as bad as five cigarettes. This propaganda doesn’t include the fact that cigarettes have filters, and only a small percentage of people smoke doobies anymore, many opt for tobacco leaves, glass pipes, bongs or vaporizers, and with the exception of the vaporizer(recommended fro medicinal use) very little study has been done in this area.

So the bad side of marijuana is that it is hard to dose consistently, it slows reaction time and it is still smoke. Yet these facts still do not qualify it by any standard of measurement to be worse than alcohol or tobacco. Those two legal drugs each year kill more people than marijuana could ever hope too. Then why, in 2006 did we arrest 829,000 individuals for marijuana offenses. Of those arrests, 89% were for possession, not sale or manufacture. Marijuana arrests total more than the combined arrests for all violent offenses in the US. We arrest more marijuana smokers than, robbers, killers, and rapists…where is Nancy Grace when you need her?

This is all at a whopping cost to the US taxpayers of 10 billion a year. With the crises in funding wars of conquest, social security and Medicare, one might want to rethink spending 10 billion harassing people who use a plant that grows naturally. In fact recently some people did, 500 top economists, including three Nobel Prize winners, sent a letter to President Bush saying that if legalized and regulated like tobacco and alcohol, it could produce revenues of 6.2 billion dollars a year. So instead of losing 10 billion, the economy could make 6.2 billion and that money could be taxed. This does not include the amount of revenue that a legalized industrial hemp industry could produce. Hemp can be used to make paper, food, clothes and a whole slew of other things, including fuel and it can be grown year round without nearly as much environmental run-off as things like corn. The color of money in America is green.

As the Method-Man once said, “marijuana is just nature’s way of saying high”. Whether it is moral, economic or practical, there is no good argument for continued prohibition. It is time to hold these politicians and grand-standers that waste billions on this fruitless venture accountable and finally do the one thing that makes sense, Legalize it!

ATTENTION: THIS COLUMN IS ABOUT SEX AND WAS HEAVILY CENSORED BECAUSE OF IT

2008-02-11T10:05:00.000-08:00

NOTE: This Column was set to appear in the paper that I write for. Apparently, such graphic talk of sex is not allowed. I have italicized all they took out(they left in the rest and published it)

My name is not Mystery, and I am not proclaiming to be any type of expert. I have however, made some mistakes in the world of college dating, and those have to count for something. So, I decided to boil down these life lessons into a few helpful hints.

1. Communication sets the standard. It is the key to any good relationship. Effectively communicating how one feels in a relationship is necessary for its success; a relationship without open and honest exchanges is doomed. If there is something that your partner does that upsets you, you need to communicate that to them in an effective manner. Otherwise how is anything going to change?

This communication is not meant to be a constant nag session (that can kill the relationship too). When entering a relationship with someone, you do it accepting their flaws as well as their strengths. But staying open and honest about one’s feelings is always the best policy. An environment wherein two people feel that they can be honest and open with each other is going to make life easier, even if the relationship sours.

In the next two minutes you will see at least 3 people who are in relationships that they are not happy with. Personal experience has shown me that bad communication is almost always the source. The longer one lies to themselves and their partner about how they feel, the worse it inevitably gets. So be honest with each other, and don’t be afraid to say what you feel.

2. Sex is almost always better with the same person. When I was in high school, I had this image that college was constant stream of one-night-stands. The typical bout of College sex is often portrayed in film and TV as nothing but spontaneous, rambunctious and random hookups. These bouts of male conquistador conquest are preferable to the committed sexual relationship (reserved for the “nice guy”). Twenty bucks says that guy in the committed relationship has better sex.

Sex is complicated and like snowflakes, absolutely no two people are exactly the same. Since sex is a physical extension of a relationship it needs good, you guessed it, communication. It takes time to get to know someone’s body, and to find proper rhythm in intimacy. This coupled with the fact that most one night stands happen under the influence, end un-climactic and have the awkward late-night or early morning skedaddle.

3. Long Distance relationships hardly ever work. I know that you think your significant other back home and you are going to work thru the distance. Chances are that you are not. One of the biggest killers of college relationships is distance. This however is just natural and human.

Many people start college with a long distance relationship. It can work for awhile and people try; there are the weekend warriors who drive every Friday to spend time with their partner. The strain however that is put on both people generally ends up being too much. This is a time where people meet new people and grow. And when someone is forced to ignore what they can actually see, for something they have to wait for, well most aren’t that patient. And they shouldn’t necessarily have to be. There are some people who do make the distance work, but they are few and far between, and it simply is too much for the average relationship. So rather than head to the graveyard of the long distance relationship, re-evaluate your relationship. The sooner that you and your significant other accept that you are going to meet new people, the better the chance that the two of you can preserve at least your friendship.

So there you are relationship advice from a guy who knows that he don’t know nothing.

Keep Your God Out of My Pants

2008-02-11T10:04:00.000-08:00

There is a group called Club Varsity, which is a collection of speakers, athletes and entertainers whose stated goal is to influence young people positively. They go around to schools and church groups and preach the following message, “Life is not a game, yet many of the same principles can be applied to achieve success. When goals and standards are neither set nor encouraged, it is to be expected that youth will experiment in all types of "risky behaviors"—pre-marital sex, drugs, alcohol, and violence.” To facilitate this encouragement, you can purchase ATM cards or Abstinence Till Marriage pledge cards on their website for just 65 cents each(50 cents if you buy 3000 or more). These cards look just like real ATM cards, except they aren’t used to dispense cash; they are used to dispense promises.

I can’t fathom what goes thru the mind of someone who supports Abstinence-Only-Education; either it is ignorance, denial, self-righteousness, or a combination of the three. Sex is wonderful, fun, healthy and completely natural. But it also comes with responsibility, and can have nasty side effects like creepy crawly VD’s and babies. So lets clear up any misconceptions and start with ignorance on the subject.

A federal study showed that the MAJORITY of people have their first sexual experience in their teens. The National Center for Health Statistics found that about 57 percent of Americans had sex before age 18. The kids, they got urges, and they are doing something about ‘em. And studies are showing that kids are “experimenting” with sex at younger and younger ages. The kids are doing it even when you tell them not to. No one disagrees that abstinence is the only 100% sure way not to get VD or babies, but the reality is that people still have urges that they act on. Sex is the earliest of all traditions and all abstinence-only-education is, is the only 100% sure way to keep kids from knowing how to use a condom right.

This brings us to denial. NO ONE LIKES ABORTION OR STD’s!!! People who are pro-choice do not want more abortions. Abstinence-only-education is very popular among anti-abortion folks. These “keep it in your pantsers” rally for no sexual education and condoms for schools. If you really don’t want abortions, then why would you not use proven effective measures to lower them? Having free condoms available to teens coupled with comprehensive sexual education has been shown to lower teen pregnancy and STD rates. If you really want to stop abortions give 8^th graders condoms and show them how to use them. The reality is, as the Mathematica Policy Research Inc. said when they released an evaluation of four abstinence programs, that these programs don’t have an affect on teen’s sexual behavior. These programs don’t have an impact, and the lack of a positive result translates to negative one.

So after denial and ignorance there is nothing left to support these programs other than self-righteousness. The argument for abstinence comes from religion as does the argument to abstain until marriage. First it wrong to assume that marriage is at all better for every individual. The message of abstain-till-marriage is offensive to many hardworking single mothers, implying somehow that they are worse parents than those who have a ring on the finger. We have in this country, separation of Church and State for a reason, and abstinence only education, much like intelligent design is a thinly veiled religious argument. If you choose to ignore your prime evolutionary objective fine, but keep your god out of my bedroom and out of my pants. Federal Abstinence-only-education needs to end immediately before the next Brittney has a baby because Kevin didn’t have a condom.

Dinosaurs Will Die- A Message on Music

2008-02-11T10:02:00.000-08:00

Radiohead’s new album has been the talk of the new industry. Is it because of the greatness of the music? No, it has created an enormous buzz over the way it was distributed. Radiohead put out their new album online, and allowed fans to pay whatever they wanted, evening nothing. The results are in and, much to the chagrin of the spin rooms of the major music labels, gasp, three out of five people downloaded the album for free.

Even more disconcerting to these music capitalists was that the average price paid was $6 globally ($8 US), and only 12 percent paid between $8 and $12(the standard online album price). The same people who brought you O-town now say that this proves that labels still have there relevance. They say that unlike mega-bands like Radiohead, most bands lack the distribution and marketing to make models like these effective. Most people would rather steal digital music than buy it, so the only way for bands to make any serious money is thru major labels.

The band NOFX wrote a song in the mid-90’s about the music industry called, “Dinosaurs Must Die”. One line particularly stands out, “Parasitic music industry, as it destroys itself. Well show then how its supposed to be”. It is laughable to suggest that major labels have any interest whatsoever in their artists’ except for their personal financial gain.

Here is a quick summary of how it works to do an album on a major-label. They sign you, generally with a particular product image in mind (often by the formula of this artist mixed meets this artist). Then they give you a large sum of money called an advance. This advance is money with hooks attached; this is the first money that is “recouped” by the labels from album sales. This puts an enormous amount of pressure on the artist to be commercial; it is the mantra of the major labels who see albums and artists as nothing more than stocks. Even if an artist recoups the advance, they literally see pennies of the actual $15 album sold in stores. Labels make up all types of ridiculous packaging and overhead costs that amount to artists getting crumbs while labels get loaves.

Radiohead could distribute their album on an 8-track and people would still buy the album and scour the earth for 8-track players. They are a mega-band and of course they can demand things that other bands cant. Their model is however, a clear indicator of how the major label music industry is an empire on the verge of collapse. Even Paul McCartney bucked the Major Labels in favor of the new Starbucks Label.

Artists today know that major labels are no friend to them or their art. The label itself is not inherently corrupt. Many independent labels are fair and trustworthy, and they can do what many bands cant, promotion and distribution. But with digital music, the physical music disc is becoming obsolete. While purists will continue to crave vinyl or CDs, the future is digital music. And artists know that what ultimately makes them money is not the studio albums, it is tours and merchandise.

Artists today make the majority of their money being on the road and selling stuff with their name on it. This is why Radiohead is also selling an $80 box set which they will make a killing off of. The recorded music in today’s free-for-all digital arena is becoming less the show, and more the ad for the show. It is also forcing artists to push themselves or get out the way, because now unknowns can become known overnight.

The public is demanding more. We want more from artists live shows(death to the backing track), we want more than one good song per album(death to the one-hit-wonder) and we want more from the labels and distribution (death to the arm-and-leg prices for music).

Still major labels spin the truth, stew over profit losses and sue their customers. Empires generally don’t know how to react when they start to crumble. Ultimately, they will lose, Art is not something that can be confined to capitalist profit margins and technology is progressed with the human spirit of freedom. In the end, Dinosaurs Will Die.

Super Tuesday Cluster-Fuck and Beyond: Aftermath

2008-02-11T09:45:00.000-08:00

The Republican Establishment has sided with McCain, and they hate Huckabee. This most likely is already done, but with this election so far, who knows.

The Republicans want Hillary because they think they can beat her. Imagine John McCain, who looks like the crypt keeper up next to the dynamic, “clean” Obama. No contest.