Democrats Say What, Again, Octu-Ratings-Distractions, and Damn the Bong Boys

The stimulus will pass the house with *gasp* no Republican votes. In addition, Judd Gregg the Republican Senator whom Obama appointed to Commerce Secretary(after Richardosn was forced to drop out due to legal troubles) has decided to withdraw from considederation for that position, due to “ideological and philosophical differences with Obama".

I actually think that this whole Bi-partisan, dog and pony show wasn’t necessarily a bad idea. It helped further the perception that Obama is trying to move past the meaningless political posturing and bickering that is the “culture” of D.C.

The truth is however, that most of these Republicans are not principled or decent conservatives, let alone decent human monkeys. No these mutant fuckers only care about them and theirs and revel in causing as much a fuss as possible.

Year after year, the Republicans have used the simplest school yard trick imaginable, the “faggot says what defense”.

Democrats can make the most logical, truthful and passionate argument they want(though they rarely do) on healthcare, the economy or whatever. It doesn’t matter.

Like Clockwork the Republicans respond with a slightly more sophisticated way of saying, “faggot says what”.

They marginalize, mock and make the Democrats look like ineffectual, pompous sissies. And like clockwork, the Democrats say, “what”, and look like ineffectual, pompous sissies.

I pray now, that since the “honeymoon is over”, that when Republicans use this tried and true “Faggot says what” attack, Democrats actually begin to grow a pair and show the Republicans the foot that will promptly be up their ass. Oh and then ACTUALLY break off a foot in that ass.

We’ll see.

In other news, The Octumom has been the single greatest media ratings ploy/distraction I have seen in a while. Obviously, the woman is Batshit, and her fertility “doctor” deserves to have his license stripped while he has rotten vegetagles thrown at his head, firmly locked in the stockades.

Obviously this is great fodder for Limaughites and those that seek to demonize poverty assistance as going to batshit and lazy mothers of 14 kids. And she’s not black so bonus, yo can argue this without seeming inherently racist.

Point is, this woman’s story is sick and sad, those kids are most certainly going to be fucked up for life, and the only reason we are talking about this is the Soft Media Industrial Complex lives for this kind of shit, and payed her a hefty check to do an “interview”.

All you Katie Couric, Oprah, Larry Kings and your staffers, I hope you take the time to reflect on how sad and pathetic your jobs are.

And finally, The Michael Phelps Bongtraversy keeps getting dumber. The local police has decided to clamp down, and get to the bottom of what happened at that Party, where *gasp* college kids were smoking weed.

The cops so far have arrested 8 people for a total of less that one ounce of marijuana, a ticket where I live(for one person). Aside from the fact that of course these resources could be better used to, I don’t know, investigate rapes or burglaries, these idiot asshole cops are just plain fucking stupid.

1. The photo in question has no smoke in the chamber. It is a photo of someone holding a water pipe. Even if there were smoke in the chamber and it was clear he was smoking, there is no way to prove he was smoking something illegal(or he knew he was smoking something illegal).
2. It is not illegal to be high. It is only illegal to possess or distribute drugs, it is not illegal to be under the influence of them(although it is illegal to do certain things while under the influence, like drive). That means unless you catch someone with drugs on them, unless they are publicaly intoxicated, you have nothing on them.
3. What kind of donut-sucking, pork-monkey would be dumb enough to make such high profile arrests, attract all this media attention, without checking with the DA to see if ANY OF THIS WILL BE VALID AND USABLE IN COURT. EVEN IF YOU ARE ABLE TO CONVICT ONE OR TWO OF THE EIGHT FUCKING PEOPLE ARRESTED OF SIMPLE POSSESSION, THE REST OF THESE KIDS ARE GOING TO SUE YOUR DEPARTMENT WITH A REAL SOLID CASE. YOU PUT YOURSELVES IN JEPORADY OF A LAWSUIT SO YOU CAN BUST SOME KIDS SMOKING WEED? HOW AMAZINGLY FUCKING STUPID ARE YOU?

Damn you Bong Boy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Show Must Go On

The “Stimulus” Package is now in its final form. All in all, people like you and me are going to get, “on average 13 dollars more a week”. $400 bucks a year. Not starting till June.

I don’t make very much and yesterday I had nearly $200 taken out by State and Federal.

Woo. Hoo.

Thomas Edsall has an interesting piece on the Huffington Post about a group of Americans will however get a nice big old slice of the pie, the upper-middle class.

“The "compromise" legislation includes $70 billion, or just under 10 percent of the whole package, to be used expressly to take care of these affluent people.

In fact, these lucky men and women make so much money that they fall into the ever-expanding grasp of the alternative minimum tax (AMT). The AMT was originally designed in 1969 to prevent the nation's millionaires and billionaires from using tax loopholes to pay zero income tax. That year, 155 very wealthy taxpayers paid no federal tax whatsoever. This year, if the law remains as it is currently crafted, the AMT would, through bracket creep, apply to as many as 25 million taxpayers, including those making in the $85,000 to $250,000 range, depending on how many deductions they claim (the more deductions, the more likely the AMT comes into play).”

On the political front, Edsall outlines that this is a notorious swing vote, once Republican but now “essential” to democratic victory. Their play to the center to get moderates is how they have won every last major election. Play to the middle, “Woo moderates”.

Fucking amateurs. I don’t do “wooing” anywhere but the bedroom.

This of course is why the Modern democratic party of course is so capital T-Timid Appeasers. Lest That very small percentage of wealthy assholes get mad and go to the other guys.

When, dear god, will Democrats stop this ass-backwards strategy. It started with Clinton, the center wins and so forth. Nearly half of all Americans don’t vote. What percentage of those do you think would vote democrat if they were halfway interested(and were able to, with either much easier online or mail votes, and a national holiday, like maybe the 4^th of July).

Obama to be fair has been better in this regard. But still, when it comes to Change, it’s still not going proportionally to those who really need it. If anything, he’s still propping up our hopelessly retarded economic system.

You can argue all day that giving money to those who don’t “need” it in the traditional sense is a really ineffective way of creating stimulus. You are right. But you still won’t win.

The fucked truth is that the “upper-middle class” are the backbone of our consumer economy. Their spending employs the rest of us, from auto manufactures to McDonalds workers. Who do you think pays for the few schools, roads, and government beinifits that most of us actually see. Let me give you a hint, they don’t fly in corporate jets.

It’s the regular, Realtors and Doctors and Lawyers and Business Executives. The ones who play by the rules, and like it that way.

These are the ones that make just enough to keep them “living the American Dream”, but they now find themselves losing their homes, their jobs and their minds. In pockets of Suburbia all across America, every day, every single lost job, portfolio hit or Elvish news conference by Tim Geithner causes a Fear to grow. The Fear that this fragile life we carved out for ourselves, is hanging on by a thread. That the wind could just blow one day and knock it all down.

And if that were to happen, these people would lose their damn minds. I’m serious, they are so plugged into this system that, absent it, they would be crazed monkeys, paranoid(perhaps rightfully so) that they will now be the targets of those who have even less.

This is all kind of a rant on my part but the point is this, the upper-middle-class, are the glue that holds this whole fucking pyramid together. They are the curtain that those who run the show hide behind. And without them, there is no show.

And, for now, the show must go on.

Perhaps the most disturbing(yet sadly unsurprising) nationally underreported story, there is a scandal unfolding in Pennsylvania that takes “Prison-industrial complex to a new plateau”.

“For years, the juvenile court system in Wilkes-Barre operated like a conveyor belt: Youngsters were brought before judges without a lawyer, given hearings that lasted only a minute or two, and then sent off to juvenile prison for months for minor offenses.

The explanation, prosecutors say, was corruption on the bench.

In one of the most shocking cases of courtroom graft on record, two Pennsylvania judges have been charged with taking millions of dollars in kickbacks to send teenagers to two privately run youth detention centers.”

They got millions to send poor, “at-risk” kids straight to a Soviet work camp. Only to have them there graduate from con-high school to surely come back and re-enroll in adult con-college. Hookin the while they are young.

I really don’t advocate violence, but I got one word, Flogging.

Aliens?

And finally,

Pamela Anderson is living with her electrician boyfriend in a trailer.

I’s sure it’s a fabulous double wide. Props to Pam Anderson, can’t take the trailer park out that girl.

Bailouts, Beer Pong and the Bong Police

Well. I managed not to post yesterday, proving that I have a tremendous propensity for not meeting the goals I set. Oh well. I'm just gonna keep trying

It seems the House and Senate are coming to some kind of agreement on the stimulus package. Do I think this will work, no. Do I have a better idea, sure. Will any of those better ideas ever get implemented, not unless what's left of our economy implodes. Thems the bricks'.

During his press-conference/town-hall/infomercial, Obama was approached by an older woman who was homeless desperate and living out of her car. Obama, didn't flinch or hestitate and came over and gave the woman a kiss on the cheek. Better yet his staff got this woman a house. You can shit all over how this is just meaningless PR but that Woman has a home now, so fuck your shit.

Moral of the Story: Ask and you shall recieve. You can't get what you want unless you actually get up the balls to ask. Do it. What's the harm in trying?

As our economy continues to suck however, more and more Americans are trying to cut costs by shopping at Big-Box stores like Walmart. These are Stores that keep their prices low by buying from the cheapest possible suppliers(cute little asian children) and not giving their workers living wages or sufficient healthcare. However tremendously evil these stores may be, the truth is, if you poor you shop where you can afford to.

I'd like to say that I don't step foot in Walmart because of Principle. But I'm poor, and like the millions of other Americans, I grit my teeth and go there to buy things that are A. only availble at Walmart in "heartland" bumble-fuck where I live and B. Actually affordable. It's simple economics, poor people in rural and urban Areas want to shop at Walmart, not because they like walmart, but because that is the only place that they can afford.

My former City and lover Chicago has for years fought to keep out Walmart from the city limits. Their are Walmarts in some of the surrounding suburbs, but so far they've stayed off city Limits. We'll see how long this lasts.

Numb-Nuts of the week goes to Sen. George W. Della Jr.,  who attempted to outlaw Beiruit(or Beer pong).  I'm sure some frat boy's did some next level community organizing on facebook, and presumably he incurred a biblical style shitstorm.  

"The Baltimore Democrat, said such games encourage excessive drinking, which leads to raucous behavior in city neighborhood. A bill he introduced late last month would have outlawed any games that award drinks as prizes in city taverns.

On Monday, a copy of Della's bill, SB 233, was circulated in e-mails and posted on Web sites of local beer pong leagues, setting off an online firestorm. Fans of drinking games sent a flurry of angry e-mails to the senator, who withdrew the legislation today on the eve of its first hearing in a committee."

And of course, Hoooray, we have a new Drug Czar. Czar of course is the approriate title for Asshole in Charge of a Failed, Morally inexcusable Draconian War. The guy cut his teeth by arguing for "less-than-lethal" devices like tazers, which while not as effective as bullets, still have been used pretty effectively on Pregnant women and the elderly.

One choice quote though, "Back in 2003, Kerlikowske was asked about his views on a local ballot initiative to make marijuana possession the lowest law enforcement priority.

In response, he stated that "arresting people for possessing marijuana for personal use... is not a priority now."

Daily Duke for 2/9/09

NOTE

This is the first in what will hopefully be a daily set of updates on the state of the nation, world and or my sanity.  I have a problem in that I set unrealistic goals, but I think a modest post a day isn't too much to fucking ask myself.  We'll see.

These Daily Dukes will be a collection of links to different stories and posts across the Webs, mixed in with my pithy commentary and jokes.  Lots of terrible jokes.

The links will run the gamut from stories about foreign policy and economic drudgery to Bratz dolls and psychic warfare with Aliens. Anything is fair game, and each day will have a theme for the stories.

Also please note their are new links, both to some mainstream news sources that you already should be reading(if you still just check CNN.com for news, stop.  They rarely put forth a story of any merit and even if they do, it's either better written or cross-posted some place else).  Their are also links to the latest post at a few Weirdo blogs like cryptogon and Pizza Seo that are definitely worth checking out.

Altogether, it's Duke 2.0 in the 09.  Their will be much more to come hopefully in the next few months.  Please check back often and tell your friends.  If you have any.

If the Economy Tanks, at least I don't have anymore about Carbon Emission Night-terrors

President Obama is spending today trying to sell the nation on his just-enough-to-argue-it's-under-a-trillion-dollar package to the American people by going to Elkhart Indiana for a big Infomercial.  Elkhart Indiana, is among other things, a shit-hole with an unemployment rate of 15%(it's probalby really closer to 25% but numbers lie).  Oh and the KKK started there.  No joke.

IF, like most people, you are kind of confused by this idea that we need to massively spend our way out of a deficit to stop our country from going more broke then congratulations financial elite, Mission Accomplished.  

This deficit spending concept is called Keynesian economics, and it is known to cause ulcers in conservatives. 

What it comes down to is this, our economy is based on entirely based on consumption, in other words the corner stone of our economy is people buying shit.

Now that about a 1/5 of the country is unemployed or under-employed, people have stopped buying shit at an alarming rate(Although Walmart did post a growth of over 1% last quarter, that aint good enough).  States are broke enough to where  California, which has the fifth largest economy in the World is forcing workers to take certain Fridays off, because the State literally can't pay them.

So in this stimulus their are billions of dollars that will end up going to state governments, and municpalities who are desperately broke now and facing shut-downs and the like.  Also, unemployment benefits and food stamps will get much needed increased funding under this package.  

But of course, the majority of this bill is going to "Tax-Cuts", and to "Distressed" banks, so I got 10 bucks that your Average American gets nothing more than a tax break and maybe another check that will get cashed at the liqour store.

I would hate to be in Obama's shoes right now.  He has inherited a shit sandwich that is over 30 years in the making.  The truth is aside from the fact that our economy is so intertwined that spillover effects now are so great that unpaid mortgages in Idaho can tank the entire economy of Iceland, this "crisis" is a direct product of over 30 years of both parties Greed and Incompetence.

In other words shiiiiit.  Good luck trying to plug the leak that Icerbeg has caused in our hull.   I won't hold my breath for the check.

In other news,

Florida sucks.  Like really sucks.  Fark has for a long time had a Florida Category.  Daily comic tragedy. 

And... 

This is just too fucking funny.  Fears over Global Warming and Climate Change are now so pronounced in certain Earth Cookies that they are literally being clinically diagnosed.  Wait for it.  Wait for it.   HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA.

I want to meet the guy with the Medical Marijuana card, burning trees to help with his Climatephobia.

and finally 

Girls Jumping On Trampolines!!!