My name is not Mystery, and I am not proclaiming to be any type of expert. I have however, made some mistakes in the world of college dating, and those have to count for something. So, I decided to boil down these life lessons into a few helpful hints.
1. Communication sets the standard. It is the key to any good relationship. Effectively communicating how one feels in a relationship is necessary for its success; a relationship without open and honest exchanges is doomed. If there is something that your partner does that upsets you, you need to communicate that to them in an effective manner. Otherwise how is anything going to change?
This communication is not meant to be a constant nag session (that can kill the relationship too). When entering a relationship with someone, you do it accepting their flaws as well as their strengths. But staying open and honest about one’s feelings is always the best policy. An environment wherein two people feel that they can be honest and open with each other is going to make life easier, even if the relationship sours.
In the next two minutes you will see at least 3 people who are in relationships that they are not happy with. Personal experience has shown me that bad communication is almost always the source. The longer one lies to themselves and their partner about how they feel, the worse it inevitably gets. So be honest with each other, and don’t be afraid to say what you feel.
2. Sex is almost always better with the same person. When I was in high school, I had this image that college was constant stream of one-night-stands. The typical bout of College sex is often portrayed in film and TV as nothing but spontaneous, rambunctious and random hookups. These bouts of male conquistador conquest are preferable to the committed sexual relationship (reserved for the “nice guy”). Twenty bucks says that guy in the committed relationship has better sex.
Sex is complicated and like snowflakes, absolutely no two people are exactly the same. Since sex is a physical extension of a relationship it needs good, you guessed it, communication. It takes time to get to know someone’s body, and to find proper rhythm in intimacy. This coupled with the fact that most one night stands happen under the influence, end un-climactic and have the awkward late-night or early morning skedaddle.
3. Long Distance relationships hardly ever work. I know that you think your significant other back home and you are going to work thru the distance. Chances are that you are not. One of the biggest killers of college relationships is distance. This however is just natural and human.
Many people start college with a long distance relationship. It can work for awhile and people try; there are the weekend warriors who drive every Friday to spend time with their partner. The strain however that is put on both people generally ends up being too much. This is a time where people meet new people and grow. And when someone is forced to ignore what they can actually see, for something they have to wait for, well most aren’t that patient. And they shouldn’t necessarily have to be. There are some people who do make the distance work, but they are few and far between, and it simply is too much for the average relationship. So rather than head to the graveyard of the long distance relationship, re-evaluate your relationship. The sooner that you and your significant other accept that you are going to meet new people, the better the chance that the two of you can preserve at least your friendship.
So there you are relationship advice from a guy who knows that he don’t know nothing.
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